This Is My Fourth

The title of this post is a product of an inside joke.

I saw a tweet and it read “I’ve been single for so long, I’m an album now.”

I took it a step further.

I’ve been “single” for four consecutive years now so I sang “‘Bout to drop an Album this is my fourth.”

You know, from that song “Run Up.”

This post was also inspired by someone who posed the question. “Zothile kanti why don’t you date?”

Have a seat.

The only “He” I know is Helium

The only “him” I know are the hymns we sing during mass

The only “dates” I know are the laxatives and the calendar related ones.

Firstly my mom is totally against it, her argument is that it could be a burden.

At this stage of one’s life it could prove to be a great liability. I can’t say I disagree with her, it makes sense, I for one have a lot on my plate already, trying to keep a relationSHIP afloat is the last thing i want added to my to do list.

Me, going against my mom? Not a chance, I don’t want to die.

The string of lies I’d have to concoct, the guilt that would ail me afterwards… it’s not worth it. Let’s not forget that Mrs N Zulu is like the FBI, she’d find out eventually, Bulawayo is quite small.

Reason number two.

These people? We got to know about each other’s existences over WhatsApp, Instagram or Facebook. So my issue here is that there is so much that can be watered down and filtered through a phone – honestly after series of conversations characterised by small talk I don’t seem to know a thing about them and they don’t know seem to know me from a bar of blue soap.

And its not easy to lie with a straight face but it’s easy to lie behind a phone screen.

I know communicating through a phone is the only way to go at the moment, it’s rather impractical to say to your family as you leave the house

I’ll be back in a few I’m going to look for a boyfriend.

Nooooooo

So what if I threw my mom’s advice out the window and looked past reason number two? There’s reason number three. I’m hellbent on the belief that these relationships are usually like the flames of a matchstick.

You strike a match and it burns so brightly and beautifully and before you can even blink there is nothing but black. Ash. Remnants of a matchstick.

So I’m quite skeptical when I hear “Zothile you and so and so would be a perfect match.”

Oh and let’s not forget that moment when you spasmodically drop the matchstick because the flames licked your hand and burnt you.

There are people who do date in high school. If you are reading this, it is not an attack, I’m just here talking about how I’m not taking that route. I’m not scowling at anyone’s decisions. You can cope, I don’t think I can right now.

All I can foresee is tragedy, fire and brimstone, I’m not sooted for this at the moment.

(I’m hoping you got that pun, suit is a homophone of soot. Soot is comprised of the black charred bits that remain after something’s been burnt)

K bye.

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The Reactivity Series

Below are just some metals in descending order of reactivity. The most reactive being Potassium and the least reactive, Gold.

Potassium

Sodium

Calcium

Magnesium

Aluminium

Zinc

Iron

Lead

Copper

Silver

Gold

The more unstable an element is, the more reactive it is and when it does react it forms compounds with strong bonds.

You didn’t think this was a quick Chemistry revision did you?

In life…

There you go.

There are people who are prone to having violent outbursts

They explode if I may say

They blow things out of proportion

They are fond of fashioning tempests in teapots

They overreact

There you have it. They are unstable. They could have insecurity gnawing at their existence on a daily; they could feel like they are a little too much or just not enough at all, they could be defeated by their demons…

You naaame it

They could be going through a lot and their inability to keep their tempers in check could result in them taking out all their frustrations on you, the innocent bystander who is far from being the cause of their anguish.

So it’s quite alright to tell yourself “It’s not me, it’s you, K.”

(I hope you got that pun. K is the chemical symbol for Potassium and Potassium is the most reactive metal)

Gold on the other hand is stable, is relatively unreactive. It does not tarnish and by the way it’s really pricy.

Some people are Gold, they are reliable and are able to remain composed for the most part and they are precious.

and unfortunately they are few and far between.

This is just an analogy, I have no bone to pick with the Periodic Table.

You’ll never find the reactive elements in their pure form unless they’ve been kept under oil (this restricts reactions) they are found only in compounds and extracting them is quite a complicated process.

(Electrolysis. I’m not explaining any further than that.)

This just shows you how dependent the unstable people are, they can’t stand without something or someone to lean on. Alone, they can barely face the world.

It’s no walk in the park, but, let’s work towards being stable.

Wouldn’t life here be more bearable if everyone strived towards being Gold.


Au. That’s so sweet.

Cold Is The Night

If you are/were in the southern regions of Africa this winter you’d shiver in agreement with that statement.

Well I’m guessing after 21 blog posts you’d be able to connect the dots and come to the conclusion that this one will have absolutely nothing to do with the weather. I’m fond of throwing people off with my titles and introductions.

The Oh Hellos sang a song called Cold Is the Night and it aided me in writing this post.

Imagine the earth and the sun. The earth revolves around the sun. It’s our very lifeline; it gives us light, warmth, energy, tans…it’s basically everything. The earth also rotates about on its axis and this gives us day and night and as the earth orbits the sun some parts of the world will be closer to it than others at different times of year and this gives us the different seasons. The sun doesn’t move, so when we say the sun has gone down that is so very wrong.

Have I lost you yet?

God is the sun.

We are the earth.


Cold is the night without you here

Just your absence ringing in my ears


Whenever the temperatures get really low (winter) it simply means we’ve moved further away from Him and when we are stranded in the dark (nighttime) it’s because we have turned our backs on Him.

Oh and on cloudy days He’s still there, above the clouds.

You hitting a rough patch as far as your connection with the creator is concerned is just as likely to happen as the seasons changing and nightfall.

But.

The sun will definitely rise again.

In a couple of months/weeks it’ll be summer.

It’s only a matter of time until the clouds clear.


“Steady is the hand that’s come to terms

With the lessons it has had to learn

I’ve seen the things that I must do

But Lord this journey’s meant for two

So I am waiting here for you”

The Oh Hellos – Cold Is The Night

Beautiful People Beautiful Problems

“We have to walk through fire.” –Lana Del Rey ft. Stevie Nicks, Beautiful People Beautiful Problems

Beautiful, an adjective derived from the noun beauty. Beauty in this context does not refer to the aesthetics visible to the human eye. Beauty in the sense that
This is an amazing person
Great is an understatement
Their existence is aiding in the refurbishment of this broken world
An inspiration
You are always straining your neck and eyes to look up to them
PUN INTENDED.

Beautiful Problems on the other hand… some serious bad to combat, to contend against all the good that person is and the potential they possess to become even better. In the world of problems, those are the “best”, the most “beautiful” and in our world (in our right senses of mind) they are the most terrible things that could happen to a person.
(Like how you say “perfect” sarcastically when things go wrong)

At the age of 27 Meryl Streep was told she was too ugly to act, a rather bitter pill to swallow, but isn’t she one of the most esteemed actresses television has ever seen?

Thomas Edison was told he was “too stupid” to do anything, he wasn’t left in the dark; he invented the incandescent light bulb.
PUN INTENDED.

Walt Disney was fired from his job at Kansas City Star because apparently he lacked imagination and good ideas… he is the definition of imagination itself.

One of the Kings of English Literature – Rudyard Kipling was eliminated from contributing to the San Francisco newspaper, he was told, “I’m sorry Mr. Kipling, but you just don’t know how to use the English Language.” Ironic.

Jessie J was bullied at school. Michael Jordan kicked off the basketball team. J.K Rowling had the Harry Potter Series rejected by dozens of publishers…
Keep it rolling.

I could go on; there are many examples of beautiful people and their “beautiful” problems.
I hope your story too can be added to this narrative.
Even the alphabet says to go from K to M you need to take an L. (to go from thousands (K) to millions (M)you need to take a loss (L) somewhere along the lines)
I hope the metaphorical lashings and beatings you endure mould you into a beautiful person.
Beauty is pain after all.

“No pressure, no diamonds.” -Thomas Carlylye

Antibiotics

 

Take 2 capsules 4 times a day until finished.

Yeah we are not going to delve deep into how antibiotics ensure that bacteria cell walls do not develop properly, water diffuses into their cells by osmosis and the cells burst because they have no supporting cell wall and basically bye-bye bacteria. No.

If you happen to contract a bacterial infection you may be handed antibiotics to annihilate the pesky bacteria (I described this above) and you have to finish that course of antibiotics even after you get better because the bacteria may gain resistance to the antibiotic if you don’t!

(Oh yeah and don’t take any antibiotics when it isn’t necessary, you’ll breed mutants.)

The plot thickens…

There is a special group of people I’ve classified as antibiotics and I hope you can see where this is going.

There was a time in my very short life of 15 years when it was not easy-peasy-lemon-squeasy, rather, it was difficult-difficult-lemon-difficult. I was plagued by the bacterium oh maybe something’s wrong with me and the fight of the century that occurred between me and my not-so-friends did everything but make it better. Then, there they were, in the distance, the lights at the end of the tunnel, the iridescence after the storm, the people who made my situation bearable.

We became friends and I was overjoyed; my third greatest support system (God first, family second) I had finally found a place to belong and I thought about Joan Armatrading’s words “Good friendships seldom die” so the chances of this alliance falling apart were slim. They were perfect.

As I was getting back on my feet again I realized that they were slowly drifting away from me until eventually they were out of my reach. I was beyond puzzled and I found myself clutching at straws, there was barely any trace of friendship left but I tugged and tugged – obviously hurting myself in the process.

Then it hit me. People are placed in your life for a reason and a season. Sometimes, like an antibiotic they are very useful, they are recruited as soldiers to ward off the terrible and then when the war’s been won they stick around for a short time before leaving and we have to let them go because we could get gravely ill and hurt if we don’t  (remember those mutants I spoke of earlier)

So there you have it, tell your Pharmacist I said Hey.

Nobody’s Home

home.jpgEmily Thorne — ‘Over time, we commit acts with intentions, either good or bad, that require forgiveness.’

I’ve gone astray before, I’ve set fires all over the place before and I’ve said and done things that I look back on today and still, they have me burying my face in my hands, well who hasn’t?

I mean who? Who? Who?
I may sound like an owl now, but, WHO?

Yeah and there will be the enemies of progress who don’t quite remember the quadratic formula, what a ribosome is and the preparation of insoluble salts but the shortcomings of other people? The memory of an elephant.

This is what gets under my skin: when you try redeem yourself all you hear is “A leopard never changes it’s spots” and the chapter of your life you’d rather not have read aloud is constantly being broadcasted.

When you’re trying to take a step in the right direction,
trying to extinguish the fires
trying to bury hatchets
trying to rebuild the bridges you burnt
trying to get back on track
Ultimately trying to get back home

There’s nobody to cheer you on, noone to lean on, everyone is just fixed on the possibility of you making a U-turn and others are fanning the glowing embers of your past. You’re knocking on the door so you can re-enter society and the hearts and minds of others but there’s nobody home because they are all going to town about your previous actions.

Pun intended

That’s just how people are, that’s just the way it is. Then why is it as clear as mud to us why people fail to convert themselves into better people? I mean come on people, sense was knocked into them, they mended all that they could, then they finally went to add the finishing touch, they went home; the people, the good way of life they once knew, the positivity that they lacked when they were away and there was nobody home to open the door for them with arms spread wide.

Nobody had enough faith in them coming back. Everybody wanted a scapegoat, “You think I’m awful, but at least I’m not as bad as so-and-so.” Everybody wants to be consoled as far as their sins are concerned so someone has to suffer and become the outsider.

“She can’t find her place
She’s losing her faith
She’s falling from grace
She’s all over the place, yeah
She wants to go home
But nobody’s home
That’s where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go to
To dry her eyes
Broken inside” – Avril Lavigne, Nobody’s Home

Nobody was home so why are you surprised that they are all over the place now?

 

 

Independence Day

On the 18th day of April in the year 1980 Zimbabwe received its independence, now when will you receive yours?

One of the many things we fall slave to is the belief that we need approval from other human beings. The fact is that noone should determine who you are or where you’re going save for you. You should not need validation from anyone.

You just don’t know how lovely you are.

You are supposed to see the good in you before anyone else should or can but turbulence obscures the scene. You are supposed to see very clearly than, even without a voice present to tell you you’re enough, you are enough, you are supposed to see that noone should define you…but you know what, insecurity compromises our vision like a cataract.

A life placed in the hands of other people is a life of little joy, if your ailment is self doubt then its a temporary cure, it’s a quick fix that yields frustration in the longrun.
If you live for their acceptance, you die from their rejection – Lecrae.

Don’t hide your face, let the sun caress it and breathe the living air, don’t sweep your problems under the carpet, confront the turbulence that has made residence in your soul.

This is the difficult part, the battle is not against the external forces, instead it’s against yourself. You’re at liberty to choose the day of your independence, how abstract is that? It’s all up to you. Be the marionette your whole life or set yourself free by cutting those strings.