The Ultimate Guide To Hurting Your Own Feelings

This is the 101 on hurting your own feelings.
For those who don’t know, 101 means “the introduction to”

So essentially this post is saying “An introduction to hurting your own feelings.”

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So I think the process or action that takes the cup and can guarantee a frown, grimace or even tears running down your face is

Drumroll please

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How you perceive a situation. To be specific, a negative mindset or perspective.

Case in point

I’m allergic to a lot of detergents so I wear gloves when I handle them. When I don’t wear gloves when doing my chores its a disaster. My skin breaks out big time; especially my right hand because I’m right handed. Long story short, its not that big of a deal, we move-


Well to me it was a huge deal, I thought my hand was terrible, scary even. I’d be so self conscious when shaking people’s hands, signing papers while people are watching, writing the names of late comers – people notice. Some stare. Some ask about it.

Others would flee from me. (or tried to, either way, you hate to see it)

So me, the owner of the hand got even more self conscious and anything negative or awkward that happened… I attributed it to my hand. I perceived every shrug, snicker, frown and shudder as a response to my hand.

“ one who takes
Everything said as personal to himself.” – Robert Frost

One day my friend’s little brother dropped his ruler while packing his stationery and since I was much closer to it, I picked it up, with that hand that has something wrong with it, the right hand.

And he held it with two fingers like the ruler was diseased or something.

I was so hurt. In my mind I started saying a bunch of stuff and started getting all defensive.
He thinks my hand is gross, how dare he do that it’s not even contagious, it’s an allergic reaction, have you no shy, oh you, its not my fault, why? I’m human too, walk a mile in my shoes…

He’s then handed car keys by his aunt. He does the same thing.

Wait. What?

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Then I realised he was trying to wash his hands. He’d put handwash on his hands and was waiting to wash it off so he wouldn’t get soap all over the place.

The ruler situation had nothing to do with me and my hand. I made it about me and in doing so I hurt my own feelings.

If you have a negative mindset then somehow you’ll always manipulate the facts and the story will never have a happy ending. Its like wearing a certain lens over your eyes, the reality will always be warped and altered.

Another thing I learned from this was that the things that happen to us can sometimes impact us negatively because they consolidate an idea we already have about ourselves. That was simply someone trying to multi-task; washing their hands and packing their stationery, then there was me, I had the idea that my hand was “terrible, scary even” and the slipper fit when that ruler was picked up in that manner.

To lighten the mood I’ll end with a pun.

This post had to do with my hand.
What do hands do?
… A touching blog post

Mental Health

Mental health is a level of psychological well-being – the psychological state of someone who is functioning at a satisfactory level of emotional and behavioural adjustment”.

My sister and I revisited Caterpillar, by Mountains of the Moon.

We came down to the conclusion that it screams mental health awareness because it sums up the experiences of a person afflicted by a mental illness.

(The common signs of mental illness have been italicised.)

Here’s Verse one

I’m falling out

With everything around me now

Losing what I used to be

And I’m over it

Apathy. Indifference.

Our main character here no longer cares about anything at this point. Our minds are the control centre and when the control centre is in shambles everything else collapses with it shortly after: one tends to stop making attempts to stay afloat and them sinking doesn’t bother them at all.

They have been to the moon

I’m just a caterpillar dead in my cocoon

Difficulty perceiving reality

A cocoon is the place where a caterpillar is enclosed before it turns into a butterfly, during metamorphosis. What is startling is that this particular caterpillar is dead in theirs. It just shows you how detached they are from reality and how grave the situation is. The truth has been inverted now: growth is seen as confinement and doom.

Swept by my mind’s typhoon

And I’m all at sea

Another telltale sign

Confused thinking.

At this point our main character is their own worst enemy, their own thoughts are an insult to injury…this emphasises on just how much mental health should be taken seriously, I don’t think “at sea” is a great place to be.

The sea clearly symbolises a snare and this is justified by the chorus

I wish it could be different

Wish there was no dampness here

The moisture of the sea; the dampness, paints a picture of our specimen being heavily drenched in their problems and they wish that they were home and dry. Literally.

Oh we shouldn’t have listened

To the angst and the fear

Excessive worrying or fear

Now Verse 3

I had it all

Rivers of gold and forest so tall

But I ran my canoe down a waterfall

Started a wildfire

No matter how hard life gets, we all still have something precious that we can be grateful for and hold onto but a compromised state of mind has the ability to incapacitate us, it can skew our vision and cause us to throw everything, even the very little we have, away.

Mental health issues needed to be addressed with the utmost care, I believe of all the forms of afflictions faced by humans they demand the most attention. Our mental stability or lack thereof ultimately makes or breaks us.

This is where people lose the plot. A lot of the time we’re told “to get over it”

“Man up”

“You’re being dramatic”

Well if that’s the case, riddle me this…why are these stats here?

  • Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in youth ages 10 – 24
  • 90% of those who died by suicide had an underlying mental illness.

The outro puts the final nail in the coffin.

Here I sit in silence as it’s rising at me

And I’m afraid that I’m not taking my chances

How do I know it’s light in the horizon that I see?

I’ve seen questions, but never answers

Here the caterpillar is faced with “light at the end of the tunnel” but he is uncertain about whether he’s really out of the woods or not.

Sudden overwhelming fear for no reason.

That’s how sensitive this type of situation is, one is so deep in sorrow that they don’t even believe that they can be saved and a helping hand can easily be mistaken for being a source of harm.

The catastrophe brought about by poor mental health is made apparent here

I used to be the one with the grandest of dreams

But how can hope keep believing through the war?

The brightest of ideas can be dimmed by the dark cloak that is poor mental health, what a huge waste.

We need to bring back hope.

We need to help people win the war.

We need to eradicate the stigma.

What We Ought To Be Worrying About

bear-3277204_1280.pngThaddeus Bradley from “Now You See Me” says “When a magician waves his hand and says this is where the magic is happening, the real trick is happening somewhere else MISDIRECTION.”

What are you constantly watching over? What makes you lose sleep at night?

I for one (an INFP) find myself ruminating on how trees are being chopped down by the second, some species on the road to extinction, natural disasters upping their game all over the place…

But you’re ought to just fix your attention on whether you’re adding to the dysfunction or not Zothile

It’s quite alright to be appalled at the wrong that plagues the planet but don’t bother exhuming buried hatchets and adopting battles that aren’t yours. The world is beyond broken, the fissures and cracks date back to years before our existence – if you attempt to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders you’ll die a thousand deaths.

Anyway, none of us here are in any position to fix anything at the moment. I mean, most of us don’t even have all our ducks in a row. Here comes the MISDIRECTION. You get so caught up in trying to reverse the atrocities that you are compelled to disregard the turbulence inside you. Oh the irony, the only chaos we’re able to control is left untamed while we pursue the impossible. If we cannot attend to the hurricanes that rage on inside of us then our efforts to change the world for the better are just drops in the ocean. Just worry about being the best you you can be, may worry propel you to be the epitome of perfection.

Worry about how you’re going to trade in your unsavoury traits for sweetness.

There is constant change around us, the external forces should have no impact on us. We should worry about remaining steadfast, worry about your wall of defense.

But then again worrying is time consuming and exhausting, the fatigue will have you thinking you’ve worked hard and you give yourself a pat on the back… it will have you scribbling away aimlessly all over an atlas and have you believing you’ve put yourself on the map.

Worry, the silt in a river. Worry without action? Futile

The real magic emanates from within, what have you to offer when all you possess is anxiety and worry.

Being an intuitive, feeling and prospecting person I find myself down in the doldrums over all the bad in the world I can’t fix, so here goes…

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change them,

And wisdom to know the difference.